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How Does Parallel Parenting Work After Divorce?

Raising children jointly after divorce can be challenging, even for parents with amicable relationships. If the divorce was contentious and the parents are not at a place where they can communicate civilly, it might almost seem impossible. However, parents in New York who are in this position might find that parallel parenting is an option that allows them to continue raising their children jointly while avoiding as much interaction with the other parent as possible.

Co-parenting versus parallel parenting

Both child custody arrangements allow both parents to remain actively involved in their children’s lives, which, in most cases, is considered in the best interests of the children. However, while co-parenting means that parents communicate often and make decisions about their children jointly as they are needed, parallel parenting means that the parents have minimal communication. Each parent is responsible for particular things. Parenting time is clearly established, and the parents divide special occasions and events so that they are not both there at the same time.

How parallel parenting works

When parents choose parallel parenting, they must be ready to do several things. These include:

  • Creating a specific parenting plan that establishes parenting time, parental responsibilities, communication methods, conflict resolution and decision-making powers
  • Limiting communication to topics concerning the children, in a neutral tone and preferably through text or email
  • Respecting the other parent’s time with the children, without getting involved in the rules and routines established by that parent in their household

Parallel parenting can be a solution for parents who still struggle with their relationship after the divorce. It provides each parent time with their children so that their individual relationships can grow while allowing each parent their own space without the other parent’s involvement. Both parents and children can benefit from this arrangement.




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